R. KELLY 12 PLAY
I LIKE THE CROTCH ON YOU
1 PLAY) R. Kelly is in tune with nature. And like Aquaman, he can communicate with the wet – “[He] can hear your body callin’.” GENIUS.
2 PLAY) He’s also in tune with his own body. And it “don’t see nuthing wrong wit a lil’ bump n’ grind.” This is terrific. R. Kelly R. Kelly
3 PLAY) The R’ah also likes to bump n’ grind on his would-be platonic friends. She snaps on lames and compliments his rims. They go dutch, and have sex that involves “bowling” afterwards. If you haven’t fucked with this Lp all the way through you wouldn’t be used to the R’ah’s RAPPING voice. It’s sort of Ill Al Scratch and Teddy Riley (he tries to sound hard in a way that was acceptable back in1993.
FOUR PLAY) “What’s up, baby? Come here. I wanna taste you. And I know you’re gonna like it…” “It Seems Like You’re Ready” is another classic (tailored for sexual predators in retrospect) that had us spitting game to eigth-graders (“seems like you’re ready/ to go all the way…could have sworn you were ready.” Tell it to the judge). And?!?!?!
5 PLAY) More R’ah rapping with his affected hard voice. LET ME SEE YOU FREAK DAT (remember when everything was “dat” this, “dis” that?) BODY. “You make me want to shout! I got drinks, just don’t forget bring your body!… smacking your butt while I stroke you with my stroker!” He actually says all of these things.
6 PLAY) This classic is called THE CROTCH ON YOU. he likes the THE CROTCH ON YOU(“and that’s that!”)
What’s going on inside my pants I can’t explain!
This and the previous song have beats indicative of a sadly passed era of new jack swingy party beats.
He also says “only if you’re old enough, baby-18 and over or 16 and under.” Really.
“freaky deaky deaky deaky”
¡¡¡¡THE CROTCH ON YOU!!!
INTERMISSION gospel-fried relapse
7 PLAY) SUMMER BUNNIES. Goddamn this record is great. A song about the girls of summer keeping us dudes on the bone. “In the ‘90s you gotta respect the ladies.” Word? He also mentions Big L (RIP). I think it’s that Big L. He raps of packing wine coolers, fueling his “bunny-jacking.” More mentions of daisy dukes…let’s reminisce
8 PLAY) The first peel. This one gets run only when the girl claims she has to finish her homework instead of having sex with THE CROTCH ON YOU. FF.
9 PLAY) Geah! A sure shot. Lovely bass, more fake hard voice; he should really dust it off an episode of TITC. BACK TO THE HOOD OF THINGS will sound Naughty By Nature- Geah! His brother (I thnk) kicks a verse too.
10 PLAY) SADIE. Still got regular run on the quiet storm until the sex tape. A memorial ballad for his mother with great (by today’s standards) organ.
11 PLAY) SEX ME spans eleven and a half minutes. You get to hear him unzip his pants, more than once (maybe he’s getting oral, and in SEX ME:second chapter, the girls unzips her’s?), and him breath deeply “Let me kiss you in the right place, so I can see ‘sex me, baby,’ written on your face…up and down-to a 69 tempo…OOH AHH sound (?)”
Kelly checks his voicemail and gets a message from a lady asking to hear thaat SEX ME REMIX. Of course he obliges…
This is a smart move – you can keeping sexing something for an extended period of time. “Put me insdie of you…mm hmm.” Geah!
1 We’ll go to my room of fun
2 Then I’ll say give me your tounge
3 Cause tonight I’m gonna fulfill your fantasy yes
4 Lie down on the floor
5 Cannot wait to cum inside
6 Anything that’s broken, I’ll fix
7 Spread your legs apart
8 Feel me, I’m so hard
9 See I want you from behind, Skip the bump and grind yeah
10 Baby climb on top of me
11 Up and down we’ll go you’ll see
12 And that’s when I’ll go down on my knees giving you some of my
SLEEVE no better place for a letter vest!